Log in

Empty space's Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
Empty space

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[24 Feb 2009|12:52pm]

[ mood | conflicted ]

Do I miss you? kinda....
never had you, but you had me.
I wouldnt call it missing so much, there's too much understanding to just want it back. I just had a feeling, and i didnt had it before. So when you brought that feeling to me, I had to make room for it, room for you with it.
well, you've moved...cleaned out the place too, you took my best smiles, my hardest laughs and the highest levels of my contentment. I still find little scraps left behind every now and again. I smile, laugh and feel content when I find then, but more at the memory of them then anything. I hold on to those memories.

But you know what would be nice?
To find some filler for the emptiness left in my heart.
time will heal it though.
I didnt have a place for you before you came along, so it must heal itself again.

almost like you loved on command.
I miss the night before you were given a different order.
That was one of my two favorite times with you before that happened.
You did love on command. I wish I was in charge. Wish I held the captains chair, the five star general. Making love, not war.
i did all I could to earn you're love, to deserve, to honor. I understand wht it cannot be tho. I know your reasons, at least one...so Ive no argument there, but your reason for that reason will always seem unfair to me
its actually easier if you dont miss me though
3 squeezes| hug?

[16 Feb 2009|07:52pm]

[ mood | sad ]

I miss him.
I miss how everything used to be so simple.
I miss dancing in the rain.
I miss running threw the sprinklers.
I miss the crashing of the waves at the beach.
I miss eating whatever i want.
I miss a lost friend.
I miss the way my mother used to be before breast cancer.
I miss the days when my father didnt yell.
I miss my brother now that he is in college.
I miss the old me.
I miss the way things used to be.


so much for my happy ending [13 Feb 2009|12:00am]

[ mood | lonely ]

i miss him.
i miss cuddling on the couch.
i miss hugging him.
i miss the way he looked at me and smiled.
i miss him so much.


[03 Jan 2009|01:17am]

i miss her...
and this could be the last!!!

[28 Dec 2008|01:38pm]


I miss him.


[13 Oct 2008|10:17pm]

[ mood | nostalgic ]

i miss being able to just sit at home
on the couch under a blanket
with a nice book and one bright light
warm hot chocolate and a quiet someone else

i miss laying under the covers
with friends
watching a good movie


[13 Oct 2008|09:04pm]

i miss the love.
no, no,
not that boyfriend love
or that girlfriend love
that everyone seems to think
im talking about
when i say i miss the love.
i miss the care
and the warmth
and the are you okays?
and the laughs
and how we never made fun
how we never hurt feelings
i miss the love
that we had
in our little theatre group
sort of love.
that love.
i miss it.
look at us,
the downers.
look at us,
all pathetically emotional
no! youre leaving!
no! my best friend!
no! ill never see you...
never see you ever again...
i know its true.
what happened to the time
when i could just say
well leave us now
ill always love you!
come back soon!
and wave as you smile and left?

if we still had
that love
you wouldnt
leave us now.

[13 Oct 2008|06:01pm]

[ mood | nostalgic ]

I miss how carefree I used to be! How walking through the park after the sun went down and talking about life, love, and everything else was what I would look forward to. I miss the way I was so trusting in everything, whereas now, I am paranoid and cautious.

Even though I was much younger and more naive, I still miss those days.

2 squeezes| hug?

i miss [13 Oct 2008|01:59am]

[ mood | crappy ]

i miss my friend
i loved him
i hated him
he smelt so good to me
i loved him for his soul not his looks
we left each other
im not his friend any more
but i consider him mine

1 squeeze| hug?

[05 Oct 2008|05:15pm]

[ mood | sad ]

I miss the weekends that we would spend only with each other
I miss the dates you would go out of your way to make for us, always inventive, always fun
I miss the curve of your smile, the crinkling of your eyes
i miss your enthusiasm for life, your drive, your passion
I miss the letters we would write for each other, expressing things we were too shy to say in person
I miss your smell, your taste, your sound
I miss seeing your back steadily rise and fall next to me, in the dark of night
I miss sitting in bed reading comic books with you
I miss feeling energised by your presence
I miss the brushing of your finger tips, when you walked past me in a room
I miss how we were always dancing, teasing, playing, laughing
I miss how flooded you became with emotion, how free you were to cry
I miss the way you talk in your sleep, the way you can sleep anywhere
I miss your wit, always accurate, but never cutting
I miss you moaning about your flatmates, I miss your rambling monologues when you were tired, I miss the deadly stillness of your anger, the evervescant bubbling of your joy
I miss you, and I don't seem to be missing you any less as the days go by. I occupy nothing but dead time, eating when i remember, sleeping when I have to, there is no happiness. Because you are gone. Because I still love you.

2 squeezes| hug?

[26 Sep 2008|08:22pm]

i miss making memories with you.

What I miss [26 Sep 2008|10:37am]

[ mood | indifferent ]

I miss it all.
I miss going to our spot at the beach, holding hands and napping in the sun.
I miss his bear hugs that lifted me high off the ground.
I miss the look on his face when I got home from work.
I miss him calling me "bubba" with his gentle voice.

I miss the passion, the deep magic we had together.
We broke rules together and we showed the world
a thing or two.

He and I were not at all perfect,
but our love was.
It can't be blamed for what was done to it.

There are lots of things I don't miss.
The problem is, I can't think of them most times.
Only the good times are sticky in my heart.


[22 Sep 2008|08:22pm]

[ mood | dirty ]

I miss me.
I miss smiling because I'm happy,
Not because I'm trying to hide.
I miss being able to live without thinking of how I've lied.

I miss Father.
When things were brighter,
Because of your love,
That I was able to get without a shove.

I miss my friend,
How did we end?
Come back.
Without you, my life's black.

I miss my love,
Who I could write of,
And hold,
And be shielded from the cold.

I just miss you.
All of you.


love [04 Sep 2008|01:35pm]

[ mood | depressed ]

i miss love
not family love
i miss the meeting a stranger geting to know each other and falling head on in love
all this "lets get freaky" crap is starting to tick me off


[12 Aug 2008|10:40pm]

[ mood | nostalgic ]

I miss you.

It's been almost 6 months since we found you collapsed in your room.
It's been almost 6 months since I sat in the hospital room at 1 in the morning and sobbed when the doctor said the only thing they could do is make you comfortable while you bled internally to death.
It's been almost 6 months since the doctors declared you dead and we had to call your parents a whole other country today.
It's been 6 months since I attended your funeral. Met your parents, received some of your things, mourned your death.

It's been 6 months since I got a phone call from you only hours before. Since I heard you laugh, since I heard you sing me silly songs, since I heard you tell me to be happy for every day because it could be my last. We all thought your cancer had gone into remission. You, most especially. I miss your laugh. I miss your voice.

I miss you.

2 squeezes| hug?

[12 Aug 2008|10:03am]

[ mood | blah ]

I miss being able to gchat with him during the day at work.


abuse that [11 Aug 2008|09:53pm]


i dont know who it was but i know someone saw me today and thought, "i want nothing
more that to abuse THAT!"
it was probably the cop watching
me walk down the
as he
was stopped at a
redight. or maybe it
the store clerk
who took my money when i
bought i cherry
coke. or
it just may have been
my friends mother who looks at
me with very erotic eyes
every time she sees me.
it may have even been


2 squeezes| hug?

I miss [04 Aug 2008|05:04am]

[ mood | blank ]

Everything about you.

Right down to all of the mess ups you made.
I miss the way you said my name.
I miss how no matter what, you never judged me.
I miss how your love was the only thing that ever made me feel safe.
I miss you.


[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]